These are not original, so no credit is claimed, and no blame should be assigned. Most of them were picked up from the internet. We'll rotate them as new ones come in. If you have a funny one, email it to us! Thanks for these, Bob!
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A kid says to his mother, "Mom, when I grow up, I want to be a musician."
Mom replies, "Sorry, son, you can't have it both ways."
Q: What's the difference between a singer/songwriter and a large pizza?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.
We don't hate drummers. Honestly, we don't! We love and respect them. These are just funny, that's all...
Q: What do you call a drummer in a three-piece suit?
A: "The defendant."
Q: What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?
A: Drool.
Q: What's the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
A: You have to plug one of them in before it sucks. (Actually, they both have to get wired!)
Q: Why do some people have an instant aversion to accordion players?
A: It saves time in the long run.
Q: What's the difference between a jet airplane and a trumpet?
A: About three decibels.
Q: What is another term for trombone?
A: A wind-driven, manually operated pitch approximator.
Q: What will you never hear anyone say about a banjo player?
A: Hey, check out his Porsche!
Q: What's the first thing a girl singer does in the morning?
A: Puts on her clothes and goes home. (Ouch! No letters, please.)
Tuba Player: "Did you hear my last recital?"
Friend: "I hope so."
Female vocalist says to her keyboard player, "I'd like to do 'My Funny Valentine' tonight... but can you think of a way to jazz it up?"
Keyboard player replies, "Sure, we can do the first chorus in G minor, then modulate to G#minor for the second chorus in 5/4 time, then modulate to A minor in 3/4 time for the bridge, then cut off the last 3 bars!"
She exclaims, "That might be too complicated to do without a rehearsal!"
Keyboard player responds, "Why? That's how you did it last night!"
OK, we've offended enough people for awhile! Hope you had fun.
